#no matter what she's trans okay
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im so glad that we never get a clear picture of sophie’s background in leverage & i hope we never do. however i also really like making up various, often conflicting backstories for her in my head. perhaps they’re all backstories for an alias of hers, ones she laid to rest back in season two.
#leverageposting#leverage#sophie devereaux#particularly that one of or both her parents had to move around a lot for work & so she would change herself to fit in at every new school#or new town etc etc. and that whatever original identity she had was dropped due to some kind of really awful event and her bio family think#she’s dead. eg she got into some kind of extreme legal trouble for the first time & she faked her death & everyone she knew as a kid thinks#she’s dead too. like. astrid wasn’t the first person she left to miss/mourn her.#but also that she was a teen runaway at like age ~16 and pretended to be an adult (like. 18/19) cause theres not much you can do by yourself#as a minor like booking flights or renting an apartment. and so began her first proper alias. and she was a pickpocket until she could fund#her life fully through grifting & cons.#or alternatively her parents died when she was a teen & she was old enough to become an emancipated minor (everyone in lev is an orphan)#and she kind of just fell into crime from there bc she had no one#or perhaps she got married at 17 and realised how fucked it all was and stashed money until she could run away & leave it all behind. that’s#bc of a single vague sentence on john rogers’ blog saying she was married at 17 and in context it was quite possibly a joke or random#hypothetical example but i was like what if???? What If???????#i also like the hc that she’s trans which i’ve seen a few times#in some versions in my mind her parents were okay and in some versions they were awful and in some versions it was so complicated.#i think tara has heard one story and parker or hardison have heard another and nate has never heard any story. he’s never asked.#she is here now and that’s all that needs knowing. and sophie devereaux is her real name in any way it matters.#eliot has also never asked and she asked if he was curious once and he just asked if she was curious about What He Did and that was answer#enough for the both of them. just a mutual agreement not to ask and it actually solidified their bond.#i think she struggled for a long time about whether to tell her new family The Real Story but in much the same way we never hear her birth#name bc it’s not Her anymore… she never gives The Real Story. bc it no longer defines who she is. she’s so much more than whatever happened.#lvg
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Are trans women real women?
As opposed to what. Fictional? A mannequin? Unreal in the sense that it's unreal how bomb she is?
(tags V relevant)
#Inventing boxes around people never works. There's no parameter for real or not real that doesn't allow for discrimination#If a woman says she is a woman then she is a woman. It is not my business to comment on how ''''real'''' it is#Based on what?? The hell kind of authority am I??? I'm some fuckin dude.#It does not matter to me what pronouns or what chromosomes or what presentation someone has#If you tell me you're a woman okay you're a woman. You know better than me. What kind of douchebag would I be to contest that#Short answer: trans women are as real women as any women. It doesn't change anything.#Are he/him women women? Are drag queens women? Are femboys women? I don't speak for them why don't you ask them to their face#By which I mean get a scope on their experience and opinion. And don't ask the person who LOUDLY DOESN'T LIKE FIRM LABELS.#Not an art
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You can pry girl dad Mark Winters out of my cold dead hands.
#Okay hear me out he was one and he would be still if whatever happened to mama winters didn’t happen they were a super close family he was a#girl dad and then tragedy. And things were difficult for him and then obviously he became a villain. So he and Ashe are more distant now an#their relationship is more strained but at the end of the day he loves Ashe so much and would do anything for her as long as she got to be#safe and happy. He’s a villain but he’s letting her hang out with the prime defenders because he knows they’re good for her! He became a#villain so he’d be able to support her. He loves her so much and he has an odd way of showing it but I’ve seen just how much this character#loves his child so much despite it all he’s not perfect no one is but he does everything he does so Ashe will be safe and secure and once a#girl dad always a girl dad he loves his trans daughter very much and he’s always supported her and he’s still a girl dad no matter what#I just have so many feelings about Mark Wavelength#I take back the thing I said about them saving bino instead of wavelength back I take it back so hard oh my god#jrwi#jrwi prime defenders#mark winters#wavelength#I JUST READ A FIC AND HE WAS SUCH A SHITTY DAD IN IT HES NOT HES A GIRL DAD WHO LOVES HIS DAUGHTER SO MUCH#I’m a Mark Winters defender and will always be one from now on#Mark wavelength I’m only on episode fifteen don’t do something heinous that makes me eat my words please I believe in you
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Love being able to write. I can do whatever i want. I can make Ryuji interact w Lala-chan and u literally cant stop me.
#chattin#i feel like shinjuku and crossroads doesnt get enough love#ohya and lala dont get enough love 😭#if they had an option to work there as a parttimer some how my akira wouldve absolutely taken it#u never see the place packed or w customers at all; it just feels cozy every time u go there#akira doesnt have a lot of places free from prying eyes; so id imagine he goes there often to just hang and study#catch up w ohya and get a bit of knowledge and validation from lala#like shes so sweet. i love her. she comes across as wise without being unapproachable#she makes comments she shouldnt (talking about ohyas job and history) bc she just forgot that she shouldnt lol#adamant about not letting him drink while hes there. its like. a safe space for him.#and i think hed like to invite his friends into his safe space; esp ryuji#gets to a point where even ryuji stops by on his own sometimes.#hes got questions but hes always in his head; never says it out loud#but it leads him in the right direction almost all the time#im thinkin of him having like. the most base level internalized homophobia and transphobia#like the kind of shit you just pick up as a child and teen and never question#and u kinda make fun of it bc everyone else is. but akira stumbles into his life and makes it so confusing#like. i dont think hed be trans. but akira would make him second guess alot about himself#about what he likes. what hes into. what hes okay w doing w someone like akira#and lala is like. u got that look in ur eyes kid. come sit.#doesnt entirely get it. but he feels a little lighter. not on labels but on his feelings#‘kid. u think of the ideal person and u think of him. at that point; it dont matter what bits he got.’#and its blunt and MAYBE it gets him a little flustered. but hes always responded well to blunt words. no beating around the bush#makes his brain confront shit head on without the second guessing hed suffer through when left on his own#WAA. rambling.#gonna see if i can draft this up at some point
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"Maybe i'll post the wip here idk" i have no restraint and honestly do like how it looks so far SO Mikan drawing wip before i pass out :3 rbs off solely bc its a wip and . Idk actually i just dont want my wip getting rb'd atm lol but feel free to comment if you'd like :3
(also pls dont make weird comments about Mikan here i hc her as a minor)
#blaire.txt#my art#my daughter (?) she has 97 mental illnesses and is banned from most public spaces#obviously a wip i havent added everything and just Do Not look at the hand#but. Idk i think its fun! I also havent drawn her yet so fun practice!#Again i havent touched dr in ages this is purely a drawing born from me just kinning her really hard and thinking she'd be fun to draw#also i no longer have a solid gender hc for her shes literally just every gender except cis to me now#no matter what she's trans okay ?#she is canonically sapphic/m-spec though so thats fun :3 i Hate the implied ship so much but. Hey sapphic Mikan is canon#I also really like she/they/he mikan personally but idk i still dont have a solid hc LMFAO#i do think i want to do my mikan rewrite au where i simply give her the writing she DESERVED one day but for now. I draw her#OK BYE IM TIRED LMFAO#danganronpa#Oh god shes being maintagged pls be kind to me dr fans#I need to maintag for people who dont want to see dr to filter it
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another win for the alphabet mafia 🫡
#ig sometimes all you need is good rep#watched em in secret so our VERY DEEPLY queerphobic parents wouldn’t get pissed#queer media#nimona#good omens#the owl house#hey now rec me some good movies w trans ppl so she’s not transphobic lmao#i think it’s a literal matter of blindly hating what they tell her to hate which…#fair enough. that was me for a while.#once she actually saw gay ppl I think she was like. hmm. that’s it. okay.#(please rec me openly trans media i beg of you)
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#i figured it would be nice if usamericans could not make posts about how jk rowlings transphobia is an online white person thing#because okay look i dont expect people in your country to know about it#but over here she is using her wealth and status to actively harm trans people#trans people in the uk are suffering due to her#she is a fucking threat to us#to our lives#to our existence#maybe not everyone in the uk knows about it but that doesnt fucking matter#what matters is the fact that joanne rowling is one of the wealthiest people in the country and is held in high regard and has actual sway#in politics and has been using all of that to actively harm us#and im sorry but you can fuck off with your ''bestie its not that deep''#it is that deep#our priminister felt comfortable making a transphobic joke in the house of commons when the mother of a recently murdered trans child was#spectating and despite being given multiple chances to apologise he didnt#i regularly have to avoid the news as a trans person in this country because its so fucking depressing that i worry for my mental health#im not gonna start arguing with whoever made that post because i just dont have the energy#but jesus fucking christ#maybe for you it is a chronically online white queer thing#because YOU DONT LIVE HERE#YOU DONT LIVE IN THIS COUNTRY#so idk maybe dont fucking tell us to calm down about it#maybe recognise that a post isn't about you and just scroll past#dont invalidate the genuine threat that woman poses to us#i dont care how jk rowling is seen in your country to be honest because it really doesnt matter at this fucking point#not every thing is about your fucking country#vent post#delete later
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also a special shoutout for real like wendy epic ableism moments when she stops talking directly to winston and expresses this is b/c he communicates too incorrectly (here too literally or whatever, once again whether he misinterpreted her or she misinterpreted him, it's put on him) and thus he doesn't deserve that
#winston billions#and i mean handshake with how winston's basically not considered allowed to talk at all by anyone out here#but like. alright we're not showing that winston is in the room mostly for a joke but even randos are like ''hmm. bit impolite'' lol#but once we do see him b/c he's speaking....like actually it Is heinously rude / diminishing / infantilizing to be spoken to indirectly#and The Behavior Is Inherently Ableist Here like ofc it's probably rude no matter what outside some kind of rly specific contexts lol but#that here she Is just implying he doesn't get to be spoken to b/c of some shortcoming / assumed lack of capacity#whatever she Does mean by ''see the matrix'' which is nothing but convenient vagueness abt Ability anyways#he's only here b/c she thinks he's annoying or w/e or otherwise extrinsically showing lack of value (can't be ableism there....)#and like winston and any other character is like. it's not textual sure but it doesn't need to be Textually Labeled#and sometimes can't be when ppl absolutely write based of ppl they know / encounter but don't know are autistic or etc#and that's how it works irl too. someone being Officially(tm) Autistic or smthing shouldn't be some necessary disclosure#b/c it's about The Underlying Principles At Play vs making some approved ''exceptions.'' if he's supposedly allistic it's still sm shit.#like how trans ppl & transphobia could exist prior to those terms even existing to be used. ppl are affected by them w/o being Out....#& btw like ppl still saying some shit like ''some autistic ppl will just be Bad At / Have No Social Skills & you have to be chill abt it''#like what does [social skills] mean here. what's the underlying element of socializing that they may do differently but you say is a Worse#or Absent version of the ''normal'' way of going about things. even if you actually get specific enough abt what a ''skill'' is; which is#gonna be a non universal non rule probably inaccurate idea of a Normal(tm) pattern of behavior/approach; sure maybe some ppl will struggle#to do that or largely/entirely not be able to do it / be unwilling to do it; gasp; what's its goal/effect & do they pursue/achieve that#another way. e.g how much AAC could be considered inherently ''bad'' re socializing or a lack of w/e ''skills'' or etc.#then like ok so once again a begrudging exception for autistic ppl is made. what's ''being okay with'' that even look like then? is anyone#gonna be using their ''good social skills'' to more successfully interact w/them? is Not socially excluding / ostracizing / punishing an#autistic person an Exception / something Extra you heroically do? e.g. & so what if some theoretical person isn't socially engaging w/other#ppl in any way. what do & don't they ''deserve'' differently from others b/c of that.#& anyways meanwhile they're certainly talking abt winston's Capabilities. but mostly talking around it b/c the point is He Gets Results &#will keep getting those results b/c why wouldn't he. but they can just cite anything to argue why oh but he doesn't Really have the value#cue vague shit like matrix refs b/c if he was Reeally talented we'd think he acts right. b/c Any bs can be said b/c winston doesn't have#the insulation or backup or ability to independently wield/gain social status his way through this shit. is only allowed to talk to#coworkers abt it by making it abt taylor actually (which is also true). still only makes it b/c rian is correctly remaining in the#acceptable range of being offbeat. so she already has more power than him & can choose to keep him around as that fun punching bag ig yay#then nobody cares. also he can't say he controls an instrument but Others refer to ''genius'' but negatively. wendy rhoades Would do ABA fr
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I'm watching a video essay about a game ive been interested in playing. The creator of the video, who has crossdressed multiple times, makes a "women arent funny" joke, and i suddenly realize ive never witnessed him acknowledge a woman in an uplifting way before.
I'm on a dating app for lgbt+ people. I've stated multiple times on my profile that i would rather lose an arm than recieve nudes without consent. I will be sent five dick pics for every 2 people i talk to that night.
I'm talking with my dad, who informs me he's been trying his best to learn about trans issues. He says the same things steven crowder brings up when trying to ridicule trans people. I gently but firmly correct my father and get told that ive been fed propaganda.
I'm on instagram, under the comments of a post ridiculing someone for being a misogynyst. Someone's left a comment saying "it must be hard being a woman on the internet" and i respond "it is." I will have every aspect of my appearance scrutinized as a reminder that no matter how well i pass, it will never be enough for someone with bad intentions.
I'm back on that dating app for lgbt+ people. I'm messaged by an attractive looking person, but i can see their partner prominently displayed in all but their main photo, oftentimes striking what im sure they thought was a very intimidating pose. Their bio says "looking for a third for our anniversary." I know that even if I did feel up to it, the gruff partner wouldnt approve of me because i don't pass.
I'm at a job interview for a clothing store. I tell the gracefully-dressed woman interviewing me that ever since i began my transition, i've discovered an interest in fashion, and that this job would allow me to dip my toes into the industry in a safe way. I'm told that i've reduced womanhood to a stereotype, and i can tell by her tone that i lost any chance at the job the minute she realized i was trans.
I'm at the same hospital i got facial feminization surgery in, trying to figure out what's wrong with my bowels. When the person behind the desk gives me a wristband with my patient info on it, i notice a single, lonely, letter M. I ask a nurse in private why it would say that despite me having changed it nearly a year prior. They say they have no clue, and bring in paperwork for me to fill out and have it re-changed again.
I'm living with my mom at the time. I'm new to transitioning, and decide to try my hand at voice training. It feels a bit off, but otherwise im feeling neutral toward the whole thing. I try speaking in this new voice to my mom and she laughs. Now, when people ask if i intend to voice train, i find speaking at all difficult for minutes after.
I didnt have some sort of grand message to convey by this. I just had a thought and then that thought spiralled into whatever the hell this became. Some, okay most, might call it complaining; they are right to do so.
#trans woman#trans pride#trans#lgbt#lgbtq#addies high thoughts#transgender#pre op mtf#post op mtf#mtf trans#mtf girl#mtf hrt#trans hrt#hrt#trans rights#transmysogyny
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What will you do if the tgirl does have that weird kink you don't like, though? What if she does like diapers. or cnc. or whatever. Is she now callout-worthy? Is it now okay to ruin her life, post her extremely private content and messages, and make her a spectacle for the public to take shots at? Is the safety of transfems conditional on them having the most Correct and Moral sexual interests? Do you only protect the innocent wrongly-accused victims? What is the line between moral and immoral where the safety of another trans person no longer matters to you?
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as an intersex trans wo/man, i've noticed that unfortunately it has become painfully obvious that not only do radfems and terfs try to abuse trans men into falling in line with their beliefs, but unfortunately, this happens to trans women and transfemmes as well. i've unfortunately seen several trans women fall down the the "men evil, women innocent, trans men have cis male privilege, trans men don't struggle, trans men aren't men or trans they're just confused butches," pipeline really quickly after transitioning or their eggs cracking, and it's not necessarily that transfem's fault, but rather an abusive person sweeping in to take advantage of someone who needs and wants validation in feeling like a woman. the person who put the terf ideals in their head during this crucial stage in development is to blame, it is not inherently the trans woman's fault.
vulnerable transfems and trans women become indoctrinated into these things. trans women and fems are not inherently bitter, shitty, hateful people. it's a select few who become groomed by radfems who push this belief, and push it hard, because that's what you do when youve been indoctrinated into a cult. it's not an issue inherent to trans women and transfeminism at all- it's vulnerable people being groomed. this is a serious issue of trans women and fems being groomed and brainwashed.
this is a huge deal and we have to stand up for each other, because the transfems getting groomed into this need support and help to get out of this cult. it is not okay for women who are just trying to find their footing to almost instantly get sucked up into a literal hate group. we have to help trans people who become indoctrinated into gender essentialism, antimasculism, and transandrophobia just as much as we help other trans people unlearn transmisogyny. these issues are both damaging our community on the whole.
radfems are aggressive and will try to indoctrinate anyone they can into antimasculism, transandrophobia, and gender essentialism. a lot of trans women in the early stages of transition really want to be validated as women and such, will become groomed by these groups of cis women who will gladly feed them toxic ideals like women can never be wrong, women are always innocent, men are always harmful and evil, it just benefits the radfems, not the trans woman. this behavior grooms yet another person into spreading radfeminism without realizing it. when one espouses these beliefs they become a spokesperson for radfeminism and terfism
i'm plain tired of seeing this argument, because it is nothing but gender essentialist binarist bullshit:
"transphobia is worse for trans women than trans men because of x, y, z."
its not worse. its different. but equal.
i understand that many folks have not lived the life a trans man leads, but whenever you try to speculate on what it's like, you will always be wrong, no matter what, because you weren't in that person's shoes. it's impossible to see the nitty gritty of how a specific group of people are treated unless you are that person or spend lots of time around large groups of those types of people. trans men face homelessness at a disproportionately high rate compared to other groups of queer folk. we also deal with forced detransition. we deal with being dehumanized by she/her pronouns. we deal with having lesbianism and butchness weaponized against us. we also deal with sexual violence. we also deal with physical, mental, and emotional abuse. we deal with gaslighting, lying, being robbed, abandoned, injured and killed. its virtually impossible to find support if you're a pregnant trans man.
trans men have a lot of unique struggles. this is not a comprehensive list, but rather to show you that ALL trans people struggle. we are united under the same banner of transphobic treatment. we are struggling, but we are struggling together, and we can uplift each other without tearing each other down. punching down on another trans person hurts us all.
belittling the trauma of other trans people is a form of queer infighting that terfs want you to do in order to fracture our community further. queer infighting doesn't help anyone whatsoever. trans men do not have it harder than trans women. trans women do not have it harder than trans men. amab and afab and intersex enbies don't have it worse than each other. these are all completely different and unique struggles that deserve to be acknowledged for what they are. you cannot use the same scale of severity for a totally different problem.
people love to completely gloss over the issues trans men face for the sake of believing that all men benefit from patriarchy. saying that trans men are not affected by specific kinds of transphobia is spreading the radfem belief that only women struggle under patriarchy. queer men, men of color, intersex men, gay men, bisexual men, trans men, polyamorous men, genderfluid men, bigender men, gender non conforming men, feminine men, men who crossdress, disabled men, neurodivergent men, mentally ill men, and other marginalized men suffer under patriarchy as well.
i'm not tolerating radfem gender essentialism being woven into queer ideals anymore. this behavior has to go. when you genuinely believe these things, we all lose.
#lgbtqia#lgbtq#lgbt#queer#trans#transgender#transfeminine#transmasculine#trans man#trans men#transfemme#transfem#trans woman#trans women#trans guy#trans community#ftm#non binary#nonbinary#enby#genderqueer#our writing
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smart - October 6th - Jegulus - @stag-microfic - word count: 665 - trans!Regulus Inspired by a reddit post that I heard about on a podcast so I don't have the original source to link it lol
"It's going well, I think," Effie whispered to Monty, who nodded at his wife, grinning.
"I like him. I have to admit, he's not what I thought he would be, though," Monty murmured, looking across the room.
It was true. James was so larger-than life and attention-grabbing; so loud and, Effie had to admit, dramatic. But Regulus, James's boyfriend who he'd finally agreed to introduce them to, was quieter. It had struck them as strange that it had taken so long, since Regulus was Sirius's little brother, and Sirius had practically been their adoptive son for years. But they didn't know a lot about Regulus. Just that he had taken longer to cut ties with Sirius's problematic family, and that their son was absolutely crazy about him.
He also seemed nervous and a bit skittish, though when he did speak, he came off as extremely smart. Though both men looked at each other with stars in their eyes, it was certainly a different match than what James's parents had been expecting.
When they interacted together, it made all the sense in the world, though. At least in Effie's opinion. They were natural opposites in the best way, and Regulus seemed to bring out the best in James. He'd never seemed happier.
"I'm going to do the dishes," she announced, standing and exiting the room, waving all of the boys off as they got up to try to help.
But as she began to get to work, the short, curly-haired man who had been glued close to James's side all night entered the kitchen, balancing a stack of plates.
"Oh, let me get those, dear!" Effie jumped over to grab the stack from Regulus's hand, eager to help.
"Thanks, Mrs. Potter," Regulus smiled softly. "The meal was wonderful. Was that thyme I tasted?"
"Oh, thank you, dear. It was! Do you cook?" she asked as they began to fall into a rhythm of washing and drying together.
"A bit. I learned a lot of family recipes as a child, and it was one of the few things my parents insisted on teaching me that I actually enjoyed," Regulus shrugged, meticulously drying a plate.
"Interesting," Effie frowned, speaking over the running water. "Did they make Sirius learn, too?" Sirius had become a permanent fixture in their household long ago, but had never mentioned learning how to cook.
Regulus just snorted softly. "No, they only made the girls learn."
It took a moment for Regulus's admission to sink in, and the dish Effie was now washing in the sink slipped from her hands as she realized. "Oh!" she said softly, her brain catching up with the conversation.
Regulus's eyes grew wide as he, too, figured out what had happened. "James and Sirius never told...?" His face, which had previously had a small smile playing on his guarded features, grew nervous and almost cold.
But Effie wasn't having that. "Regulus," she said firmly, grabbing his arm with her wet hand and refusing to allow him to turn and walk away. "It doesn't matter to us," she stated, looking the terrified man in the eye, making sure he understood she'd never been more sincere.
The gray eyes that stared back at him grew wide and watery, and he blinked a few times before nodding and letting out a shaky breath. "I- okay," he mumbled. "Sorry, I- It's just, my parents were-"
"I understand," Effie murmured, movign her hand up to squeeze his shoulder.
Nodding again, Regulus visibly relaxed, turning back to the dish he had been drying.
"It won't matter to Monty, either," Effie clarified, squeezing his shoulder again and returning to the sink. "As long as you and James love each other and you support his Quidditch team, he'll approve."
Chuckling, Regulus smiled. But after a moment, he turned to Effie, frowning. "What Quidditch team? Because James likes the Chudley Cannons and I can't even pretend to like-"
"No, he likes Puddlemere," Effie laughed, pulling him into a hug.
#marauders#harry potter#marauders era#marauders fandom#fanfic#harry potter marauders#the marauders#marauders harry potter#marauders fanfic#the marauders era#marauder era#marauders fanfiction#marauders fic#james potter x regulus black#james and regulus#poor james#james potter#james x regulus#regulus x james#regulus and james#regulus black#regulus arcturus black#james loves regulus#regulus deserved better#regulus black x james potter#jegulus#jegulus microfic#starchaser#sunseeker
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Ours To Keep (4) | Joe Burrow
Angst, Fluff
Summary: you and Joe have a scare regarding your pregnancy, and it causes some unknown tension
The last thing you remember before you wake up in a hospital room is passing out in Joe’s arms. To say he was scared would be an understatement. Not only scared for you, but the baby as well. He’d came around to the idea of being a dad and he felt like it was being ripped from him. He sat in the waiting room of the hospital while the doctors and nurses worked to figure out what was going on. Gabby and Ja’Marr ended up there with him, both of them being friends with you made them worried to, which forced Joe to tell them about the baby.
It felt like an eternity before your doctor came to the waiting room to look for him. But when she came out of those doors, he immediately stood up. “Hello, Joe. It’s great to see you again. I wish it were under better circumstances,” she begins, before ushering Joe to sit, and she sits across from him. “Y/N is okay and the baby is just fine. We’ve done an ultrasound to be sure, and the baby is moving around and progressing like normal,” she explains, and Joe lets out a breath of relief.
“Then why is she bleeding?” Joe questions. “Y/N is just waking up, and she’s asking for you. Follow me, I’ll explain everything when we get there” she tells him. He bids goodbye to Ja’Marr and Gabby before following the doctor through the doors she came out of. When he got to your room he was relieved to see you awake, slightly disoriented, but you were awake and that’s all that matters. “Joey,” your voice cracks, and he rushes to your side.
“The baby-“
“The baby is just fine, Y/N. Joe why don’t you have a seat and I’ll start to explain what happened” the doctor says, taking a seat on her stool. “You have a condition that’s called placenta previa. Essentially, what happens is, the placenta forms and attaches itself very low on the uterine wall, covering the opening to your cervix. Right now your cervix is only partially covered” the doctor explains. Joe squeezes your hand.
“That is what caused the bleeding. It’s very common in some pregnancies, but, unfortunately, it does put you in the high-risk category.” She explains. “So what does this mean?” Your ask, your voice just above a whisper. “Well, there is a chance that since it’s only partial that it could correct itself. It’s a very slim chance, though”
“What happens if it doesn’t?” Joe asks. “We monitor the situation as you progress in your pregnancy. If the condition hasn’t corrected itself by 32 weeks, we plan for a cesarean section delivery” she explains, and your heart drops. You’ve always wanted to experience the feeling of labor and delivery, and get the full experience of being a mom. “Seeing as you have this condition, it’s going to mean we’re going to be seeing you every 2 weeks. Every appointment you will receive a trans-vaginal ultrasound along with a stomach ultrasound just to check on the baby’s progress”
“We’re going to keep you overnight for some observation. If all is well you can go home in the morning. Joe, you’re welcome to stay if you’d like. I’ll give you guys some privacy. If you need anything at all, don’t hesitate to ask the nurses. Have a good night,” after she walks out of the room and closes the door, you look over at Joe with tears in your eyes. Immediately, he wraps his arms around you and you cry into his chest.
•••
After a few days, everything seemed to go back to normal. Joe kept a close eye on you, which you expected considering the circumstances. Your workload seemed to dwindle. Joe took on some of the responsibility, to which you protested, but he stood his ground when he said he wanted you to take it easy. Most of the time you were either working from home or working in your office. He didn’t let you step foot on the practice field. And he’d given Gabby the order to keep an eye on you when he couldn’t.
Today was the first preseason game against the Green Bay Packers. You didn’t have much to do, besides update Joe’s instagram after the game. The game was rough to watch. From your spot on the sideline, could tell Joe was distracted. You’d barely gotten to speak to him today, which was normal for game days. Joe typically keeps to himself leading up to the game.
The game resulted in a 36-19 loss for the Bengals. Though its preseason so the loss doesn’t really matter, Joe still took on the blame, just like every loss. The ride home was quiet. You looked over at him from the passenger seat, his eyes locked on the road ahead.
“How are you feeling?” Joe asks breaking the silence, glancing over at you briefly. “I’m okay. I should be asking you that” you remind him, and he sighs. “There’s still a lot of football to be played. I just need to get better”
“Joe, don’t give me the monotone answer you give every reporter in a press conference. You can talk to me” you tell him. “Y/N, I really don’t want to talk about it right now”
“Please don’t shut me out-“
“Drop it.” He raises his voice, and you flinch. You sink back in your seat and look out the window. Joe glances over at you again and lets out a frustrated sigh. “I can’t do this tonight. If you’re going to be sensitive you have to go back to your place tonight. I don’t have a the patience for it” Joe comments, and your head snaps back toward him.
“You just yelled at me for trying to comfort you. How the hell was I supposed to react?” You spit, and Joe rolls his eyes.
“I’m dropping you off at home.” He states and your heart drops. “Joe, please. I don’t want to be alone-“
“Well I do, and having you around is distracting right now-“
“What is that supposed to mean?” You ask, your voice cracking. “I’ve been distracted all day. All I can think about is you and if you’re okay and if the baby is okay. It’s just a lot right now. I caused us to lose today because I was focused on you” Joe rants angrily. “I didn’t ask you to put me under a microscope-“
“And I didn’t ask you to get pregnant.”
Your heart shatters. Joe immediately regrets his words when he sees the look on your face. “Baby, I didn’t mean that-“
“Just take me home. Please.” Your voice cracks, and you run toward the window. “Y/N-“
“Joe. You said it. It’s out in the air now, and you can’t take it back. So please, just shut up and take me home” you sniffle, and hot tears run down your face. This wasn’t how you expected today to go.
~~~~
Okay so I know the bengals don’t use their starters during preseason, but for the sake of my story, please just go with it 😂
Also not proofread, so if there’s any errors, my bad
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But She’s Not You (x Zayne)
Technically part 2 to Opposite (linked) but you can read it stand alone too.
Warnings: insecurity
Tags: Angst to comfort, f! Reader (pro trans blog), MC Reader
Synopsis: After you saw him with someone else and misunderstood, Zayne lets you know you’re the only one for him.
Sulking at the waiting room couldn’t get past Yvonne’s sharp eyes. It had been a week since you’d come to the hospital. You didn’t pick up Zayne’s calls after you ‘ended things’, and him, being the gentleman that he was, did not push it. He was probably busy again, and now he had someone else to keep him company. Unfortunately for you, you had a weird and constant chest pain that was getting hard to ignore. You begged the receptionist to get you any other cardiologist than Zayne, which meant you had to wait, because Zayne would never make you wait when it came to your heart.
“What’s wrong?” She took a seat beside you at the metal chairs. “Trouble with the doc?”
You sighed, your head down, grateful she was here. “I saw him with another girl. Laughing, with another girl.”
“Dr. Zayne laughs?” Grayson slumped down on the other side of you. That just made you feel worse. Right, he was usually stoic, but who wouldn’t laugh when someone like her was making a joke?
Yvonne pinched Grayson, as if begging him to read the room.
“Well, he’s doing terribly.” Grayson spoke immediately. “I don’t think he took a break this entire week. Jo almost has to force him to take a break at times.”
Tears filled your eyes immediately and you hated that it wasn’t because you were concerned about him, but rather that he had another girl who’d remind him to take breaks, to eat sweets, to smile every now and then. It was selfish to think like that, but you couldn’t help but wish it was you.
“Dr. Grayson.” Yvonne warned, gesturing to you. “Don’t you have a surgery to get to?”
Grayson took the cue noticing your silent crying, pretending he was paged for something important, running away.
“There’s really nothing going on between them.” Yvonne tried to help you, patting your back. “There’s been new discoveries on Protocore syndrome treatments, and Jo is from the institute that made the discovery.”
You tried to stop the tears. Right, it couldn’t be helped. “It’s just… hard to be with someone like him.” You wiped your face with your sleeve. “Someone who’s always going to be wanted by people who are more than me. I’ll make one mistake, and he can find another girl who’s better than me in every way, and will never make any. I don’t want to spend my life thinking I have to compete.”
“Ms. [Name].” Zayne’s voice spoke from above you, sending your already struggling heart into a frenzy. “Please see me in my room immediately.”
You looked up to see him walk away, into his office, the nurse beside him, apologising to you. “I tried to hide it from him, but he was furious when I didn’t tell him you were here.” She whispered. You told her it was okay, silently following him. He held the door to his office open for you, closing it behind him once the two of you were in.
“You might be mad at me, but did you really have to try and change doctors?”
“I didn’t want to waste your time.”
“Nonsense.” He looked back at you with furious eyes. His hair was a mess, he’d definitely not had enough sleep, and you could see a bit of stubble on his jaw. No matter what happened, Zayne would put effort into his appearance, but you’d never seen him like that before.
You wanted to say something, ask him if he was alright, but you could only take your place on the couch in his office.
“How long have you been experiencing this?” He asked sternly, still standing, looking at your chart.
“A week.”
He shot you an exasperated look. “A week? And you’re only coming here now?”
I didn’t want to face you. You wanted to confess, but you settled with “I thought it’d go away by itself.”
Zayne tried to calm himself down, placing the chart on the table, sitting down on his desk with his head in his hands. You didn’t have control over yourself as your legs walked over to him. Even if he liked someone else, you couldn’t let him go. You couldn’t help but reach for him, your hand lightly resting on his back.
“Zayne?”
“Can I hold you?” His voice was broken, pleading. You let out a soft ‘yes’, and he immediately pulled you into his lip, hugging you tightly.
Was Zayne… crying?
“You’re here.” He whispered, resting his face against your neck, nuzzling into it, tightening his protective hold. Even if you couldn’t hear it well, you felt his wet eyes. He still smelled of coffee and mint. “Please don’t leave me again. I thought I messed up for good. Please give me another chance.”
“I overreacted.” You put your hands in his hair, and he kissed your neck. “I’m so sorry.”
“No.” He pulled away, holding you firmly on his lap with his large hands on your waist. “I didn’t understand how it must’ve looked to you. I’m away all the time, I don’t make time for you, but if it’s not you…” He looked intensely into your eyes. “It’s no one.”
Your heart felt less heavy, the pain easing into relief. You took a deep breath, but it still hurt your chest a little.
“And I’m sorry for what I said.“ He continued.
You teared up again. “Yeah, you should be. You have no idea how I felt.”
“I’ll win you back, if you’re not yet convinced.” He kissed you on your cheek, taking a handkerchief out of his bag to wipe away your tears. “Tell me, what do you want? I’ll give you anything.”
“What I came for. A diagnosis for my heart.” You smiled.
Zayne turned red, clearing his throat, helping you off his lap but not letting go of your hand. “Of course. I need you to come with me to get some tests done.” He used his free hand to look at his notes on the chart.
“And after that, you’re coming home with me so I can make it all up to you.”
—x—
#zayne x reader#zayne x mc#love and deepspace#lads zayne#lnds#l&ds#zayne comfort#zayne angst#love and deepspace x reader#zayne fanfic#zayne headcanons#hcs#fanfiction#zayne x you
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It's honestly kind of jarring being one of only two queer people at my job, because sometimes I'll see people who are obviously, visibly, unabashedly queer and mention it to one of my non-queer coworkers and they're like "why does it matter?" or "i don't care if someone is gay or straight or whatever" or "okay, and?" What they don't seem to understand is that I'm not being judgy when I point it out. That's nothing but queer joy babey.
A trans boy who's experimenting with hair dye and oversized hoodies and new names and has currently settled on a video game character? We love to see it.
A gay elder who has never explicitly told me that he's gay, but wears rainbows all the time, has a little pride pin on his hat, paints his nails, and mentions his gender-neutral "beloved" who loves Rocky Horror and Priscilla Queen of the Desert? Makes me want to cry from sheer happiness.
A woman and her daughter coming in to get library cards, and when I asked how many she'd like on her family account, she replies "three, for me, my daughter, and my wife"? Catch me trying not to burst with euphoric squealing at the circulation desk.
When I point these people out, it's because I'm happy to see them! I'm glad these people can live authentically and contentedly and that we can run into each other. I"m glad there are closeted people who can see the visibly queer folks and maybe get that little extra bit of confidence to live the way they want. I'm glad we don't have to hide!
Basically, I live and breathe that panel from Fun Home.
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so I'm on this app, Marco Polo, where you stay in touch with people by means of sending video messages. (there are probably other features, but I'm a free user, so I remain blissfully ignorant of them.) mostly I use it to annoy my sister. ("BITCH WHAT IF I GOT A PHALLOPLASTY AND HAD A BABY SHOWER FOR MY DICK. WE COULD HAVE ZUCCHINI FRITTERS. DICK-SHAPED PASTA. BANANAS FOSTER. DO U SEE MY VISION")
anyway, during the Hell Year of 2020, I saw my childhood best friend (let's call her Lee) was on this app. and like.
when I say "my childhood best friend", I mean the Weird Girl next door, who saw the Weird Girl that I was. I mean the girl I played with from age five until just shy of eleven, when my family moved away. I mean the girl I played with every day, for hours and hours, making up all kinds of elaborate scenarios involving our menagerie of stuffed animals. there were multiple overlapping, soap opera-style plotlines that lasted for years. there was drama. heartbreak. glory. she was the first friend I remember having. she was the first girl I ever loved, in my five-year-old way.
well, I hadn't seen Lee in at least 20 years and I was like, "holy shit! Lee!!!" so I sent her a "hey, nice to see you here, how you been" message.
again, this was late 2020.
now, I had been on T for a scant three months when I sent the first message, so I was a mere baby child, relative to the gruff manly man I am now. no beard, my voice had only started to wobble, still had tits... you get it. keep this in mind, it'll be important later.
I never heard back from her, but we're both Old, so I was like "eh, she probably forgot she installed the app" and forgot about it. we'd exchanged text messages at some point during the Hell Year, but like many people my age she doesn't really text, and I'm not calling anyone if I don't have to, so our communication had been sporadic, at best.
well. today I got a notification that she sent me a reply on Marco Polo.
I figured, well, she's replying to me 3.5 years late, but better late than never. I have ADHD and no friendship degradation mechanic, so I'm excited! yay! friend! :D
and then I remember. "...oh shit. she doesn't know I'm trans."
so. the thing is. I'm from Mississippi, which is. very very fucking conservative. I know Lee grew up Southern Baptist. I also know she's still living in the same town where we grew up and where she eventually graduated from high school and college. last I checked she was still attending the same Southern Baptist church where she grew up and her remaining living parent is still living in Lee's childhood home.
so this is either going to be Fine or it's going to be a disaster. lol.
in thinking it through, I figure either she's seen my updated profile pic, where I have the beard etc., or she hasn't. so either she's going to acknowledge this change or she isn't. okay. these are the possibilities. so I watch the message.
...the secret third option is... she seems to not realize when I sent the message? "sorry, I missed this when I was at work!" girl. what? I mean, you probably did miss it while you were at work... three and a half years ago. possibly she meant to reply to someone else and got me instead?
whatever. who knows. doesn't matter.
because I have the opportunity to do the funniest fucking thing in the world now
#covington-shenanigans gets personal#story time#marco polo#trans stuff#childhood friends#trans man#transmasc#trans men
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